overwhelmed

wow - november and december have just flown by ... in november we lost one of my step-dads, he passed early in the month ~ I have discovered that there are a lot of details and paperwork to dying. After catching up from that busy time, my mom from Alaska came and stayed. After catching up from that (well, truthfully, i think i haven't yet!) it has been December ... and we haven't stopped basically since it started. I feel like I haven't taken any time for me or for mike or for my kids ... we are just go go go and for sure, I think I haven't taken time to think of others out there who don't have as much as we do and very importantly I haven't taken time to consider the reason for the season ...
Kaya this year is trying to figure out the Santa thing ... she asked Mike whether he is real and Mike said "what do you think?"... Kaya said, "no - how would reindeer ever fly?" ... I know that reindeer fly in her imagination ~ we have fairies and dogs and ponies that fly all around our house regularly, but for some reason this is how she has decided that Santa isn't real ... now, Mike has never been one to uphold the belief in Santa (on the otherhand, if I didn't believe in Santa, I wouldn't get presents from my mom, to this very day:) ) - I don't think though that he has ever said to her that Santa is not real ... we have talked about gift giving from Santa and others and how it is a symbol of the real gift from Jesus ... anyway, there is a lot of focus on the secular side of Christmas with her being at school and I am realizing right now that we need to focus a bit more on what is important about Christmas. I am surrounded by good examples of selfless people ~ we have friends on their way to Mexico to build houses for less fortunate people over the holidays ~ my brother gave my dad a donation to the Salvation Army and a 4-hour bell ringing shift for his December birthday ~ a couple of families I know are giving donations to KIVA as gifts to others, the recipient of the gift gets to decide who to sponsor. I want to follow these examples ... I feel like I have been so focused on just getting by and dealing with allergies and major colds (right now Keidis, Ophelia, and I are wicked sick!) that I haven't gotten to what is important.
Thank goodness today is the last day of school for Kaya for December and that Mike is on holidays for the next 2 weeks after today. Maybe I can be the mom I want to be, the wife I want to be and the friend/neighbour I want to be. So I am starting today ... I just phoned the missionaries and they are coming over at 7 a.m. Christmas morning to open presents with our family ... I am going to get them stocking stuffers and small goodies and they can have a less lonely Christmas morning. That might be the only service-oriented thing I can manage this year, but it is something right? The rest of my time from now will be spent on renewing my relationships with Mike and the kids and with myself!
I am grateful for the season, for the opportunity to teach my children about our Savior, for peace in my life and in my home, for an amazing husband who loves and supports me, and for 3 beautiful babies who light up my life!